Really, your hair looks great…

I came across a post on a friend’s blog not long ago that troubled me. A haircut turned in to a very tough situation for her. Here is the post. Then, after some reflection on the situation, Carolyn filed this post where she has concluded that her anger at her husband’s reaction to her haircut was maybe a little unfair.

This got me to thinking about the recent discussions I have had with my wife about her getting her hair cut and why I am not sure I like the idea.

Yes, I am writing a post about women’s hair – and it gets deep… Deeper than it should, but here goes!

BTW, here is where I start playing the generalization game (only because of experience), but most men did not start a relationship with a woman solely because of her hair. It can play a part, but really, I have NEVER heard a man say, “Dude, check out her hair!”, then move on to comments about other parts of her body. NEVER. So, how could a haircut cause so much strife between a couple?

Here is where I think it gets deeper than it probably should, but most men in a relationship don’t REALLY notice a woman’s hair unless she does something major. Yes, we notice when you get highlights or layers cut in to your hair – but most of the time, we don’t know exactly what’s different, just that there is something different. And wouldn’t it be a tense situation when a man notices the change, but doesn’t know how to say what the change is so an already conscious woman reads too much into the comment and well… All of the sudden, hair is REALLY important. But is it about noticing her hair or “her?” That is probably discussed in the Mars and Venus book, so we’ll skip that…

Let me offer my explanation of why men stay out of the “hair business” and only from my experiences. Most men view a woman’s hair as some sort of emotional barometer that indicates the level of change that woman is in need of.

Let me set this one up a little bit.

Women invest countless hours, months and years into their hair. They also (lucky for us) invest countless hours, months and (hopefully) years into their realtionship with us. (Yes, I am comparing a woman’s relationship with her hair to her relationship with her man.) Everything seems to be going along just great, the next thing you know, your wife/girlfriend’s trip to the beauty shop to get some highlights has turned into a life altering experience – the long hair that *everyone* is used to is gone and Meg Ryan’s “Sleepless In Seattle” hair has now planted itself on your wife/girlfriend’s head…

In my limited experience, personally and with so many guy friends, when the hair goes – so do you. It’s just that simple. A decision to change something that big usually means that other life decisions about change are being made. And you, sir, could be up for negotiation.