Hoodoo Voodoo?

Not long ago, the woman that cleans our house on Fridays (let’s call her Maria to protect the innocent) gave us a beautiful agave cactus. It was potted and HUGE. It grew for a few months and it had some baby cacti that needed to be put in their own little pots. So, I started the process of getting the big cactus out of this HUGE pot and dividing them up. As I began pulling the big cactus and all of it’s baby cacti out of the big pot, I noticed there was something in the bottom of the pot. My first reaction was that it was “cactus food” of some sort and I would get to it later. So, I turned my attention to getting all the cacti (I like that word, can’t you tell) potted in their own little pots. Once I was satisfied that everyone was planted in a suitable pot, I turned my attention back to the original pot and the “cactus food.” It was then I made a crazy and horrible discovery…

It was actually a sealed Ball jar in the bottom of the cactus pot. In this jar was a crumpled “form” that looked wet and had a clammy looking texture to it. It almost looked like some sort of extremity from an animal – maybe a weird bird foot, or (please no, please no) a very small hand. Whatever it was had two red tips, two blue tips and a yellow tipped, larger “finger.” I could see other things in the jar; balled up paper, pins with different colored heads on them, a wad of hair tied together with a string… The more I looked, the uneasier I was getting.

I couldn’t bring myself to open the jar. I put it down and waited for Friday to ask Maria WTH.

Friday came and so did Maria. She took the jar and immediately, to my horrified self, opened it. She took out a REAL LIVE VOODOO DOLL. Complete with hate pins and hair and a written curse. You couldn’t read the curse, because there was a small amount of liquid in the jar and it had caused the ink to blur and the paper to rot. I don’t want to know what it said, anyway. Maria had a story to pinpoint the creation of the doll but I really didn’t care. I just wanted it away. Away from me and away from my wife and kids. Quick.

Now, I don’t really believe in voodoo or black magic but no one has ever been able to give me any good evidence about how Robert Johnson quickly learned to play guitar like he did so maybe, just maybe, this thing needed to be gone – and fast. Better safe than sorry, right?  For instance, in my short life I have noticed many folks from the country can be a little more reserved about being in the woods at night than some, say, city folks. I think it probably stems from the thought that country folks know what really goes on in the woods. Stuff that never makes the papers, if you know what I mean. That being said, I am not all that comfortable in the woods at night…

So, the doll had to go.

Harsh reality…

Sunday, my wife and I were driving to church. Nothing out of the ordinary, really – but I decided that I needed to hear some music from my iPhone during the ride in. After a few songs, my wife flat out told me, “You know, when we first met, I thought you were a huge dork. Then the more we hung out and I realized you listened to good music, you got cuter.”

Now, I am not surprised by the revelation that someone thought/thinks I am a dork. I have more than one blog and a twitter account, most people think that is enough. But to think that the mother of my two kids is with me today because of my cd collection is, well, amazing, exciting and flat out scary as hell!

I don’t remember trying to impress her with the music I listened to and I don’t think that my taste has really changed all that much. However, I do/did have some guilty pleasure cds. What if she “found” my Vanilla Ice cd? Wait, I used to play it when I got drunk so she definitely heard that… What if she found my ENIGMA cd? Wait, every guy in college had one of those…

But, she doesn’t seem to remember those (thank the Lord) or, at least, she didn’t judge me by them. She heard a few easy songs by The Black Crowes and told me that it reminded her of being young and being with me and those are good memories for her. Turns out, they are the best memories for me!

Somehow, I am not afraid of sharks as much…

Last night, we were sitting in the living room recovering from the absolutely wonderful dinner I made…

Anyway, Autumn and PT and I were really enjoying some time together, just hanging. Soah had already gone to bed, and we were trying to get Petrea to wind down. She started to get a little bit calm and she usually hits this point where she gets kinda maternal. She wants to make sure you have a pillow or are under the blanket or have enough to drink… Pretty amazing for a 2.5 year old, I think. Then, Autumn says, “PT, I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here with us.”

That hit me hard and really made me think. And I came to an easy conclusion…

For the better part of 32 years, my top two biggest fears were drowning and sharks. Hell, I could have called it a success after the 2.4 mile swim in the Gulf of Mexico and been happy! But, all of the sudden, I had a child. Drowning and sharks quickly tumbled down the list and I didn’t even know it until it sank in last night.

Nothing scares me more than the thought of losing one of my children. Nothing. My daughters have improved my life in ways that I can’t possibly describe in words. And it happens every single day. I can’t even be certain that words to describe the feeling and the love I have for them exist! There is no way that I deserve two beautiful daughters – but they are here, all the same.

I know I am lucky to have children, and I don’t take them lightly. Sure, they come with a responsibility and a sacrifice. Maybe sacrifice isn’t the right word. As a parent, you certainly have to make some compromises. But, way more often, what I get from them is better than whatever it was that I gave up. Sure, I would like to go one dates with my wife more, ride my bike more and race triathlons more – maybe even get faster and do another Ironman. But right now, I get to dole out Goldfish and applesauce on Saturday mornings instead of 50 mile bike rides. Life could be different than it is right now, but I don’t know how it could get better!

I know parents who have lost children and I can’t imagine the sadness that grips them on what has to be a daily basis. I pray daily that I don’t ever have to know that pain. I don’t think I am that strong – no, I am sure I am not that strong.

Kiss your babies…

Shaved or not…

It’s not a pornroll – I want your real live thoughts. Shaved or not. Vote on which one you like best.

New Day?

For the first time in EASILY ten years, I don’t have facial hair. I don’t know why I shaved, but I did. Of course, I had to take my own picture…